Dear Readers,
Blog prompt: What does it mean to “put yourself in another person’s shoes”? What personal qualities are necessary to be able to see things as someone else does?
Putting oneself in another person's shoes means to see a situation from another perspective or point-of-view. However, this requires one to get out of one's own "shoes", as it is by human nature that we are self-centred and think of ourselves in a favourable light. This, however, might result in us realising that we are not as "perfect" as we think we are, neither are we quite as "special" as we think we are.
There are two qualities that I feel are especially necessary to be able to see things as someone else does.
The first quality is empathy. It means recognising emotions in others and essentially refers to "putting oneself in another person's shoes". Sadly, empathy is not an easy quality to attain and few actually are equipped with this virtue; it goes beyond just listening the problems, but also includes responding to the problems and, if possible, solving them.
Other keys to empathy include paying attention to how the person is feeling, putting feelings into words and also keeping your words simple. However, the most important thing is to give the person a chance to respond to your comments. This is because it shows the person that you actually care and want to understand more about his/her problem.
The other quality is honesty - to oneself. This refers to the quality of always telling the truth. When a person is not honest to himself/herself about the way he/she feels in a particular situation, how can he/she ever feel what the other party is going through?
Best Regards,
Nathan :)
That last comment is very insightful. Sometimes, feeling deep empathy for someone else's suffering is also the impetus for us to confront our own experiences and pains. We have to come to terms with who we are and what made us what we are, and face up to that with honesty.
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